Chicken Fried Vogue

For 15 years and most of her adult life, Bubblez lived in the suburbs of a major metropolitan city. She enjoyed taking her children to museums, parks, and dates at Starbucks. Then Bubblez moved to the country and her En Vogue attitude got chicken fried. Her yard is a park where the neighbor's rooster won't stop crowing, Starbucks is almost an hour away, and her large collection of fancy shoes is worthless. But, living in the acres of green has presented more opportunities for living "green" as Bubblez travels the path toward self-sufficiency (and bitches ((and prays)) along the way).

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

The Daily Cooter

Man, it feels good to let the girls loose. You know what I'm sayin'? At the end of the day, i don't know about you small breasted women out there, but for those of us who carry a good 25% of our body weight in our tatas, that feels really good.

There will be no talk of cooters in this blog. I just wanted to see how it would look if someone were to actually write that.

Well, kids, I haven't much of anything interesting to say tonight. I've been doing my 8 minute exercises, but haven't felt like kicking that up into anything bigger yet. I have had an interesting decrease in appetite, and I'm going to blame whore-moans for that again. I've been kind of mopey, and I don't want to eat.

Here's what slid down the ole gullet yesterday:
yogurt and oatmeal for breakfast
about 1/2c bean soup, cheese, crackers, and a clementine around lunchtime
some grapes, cheese and crackers for a snack
a bowl of leftover chili and some chocolate

Today:
yogurt
half a monte cristo sammy
a little candy
chicken breast, rice, and a salad
cookie bar ('cause I made cookie bars - yum)

Nothing real exciting. You know, I just got these new cookbooks a couple of days ago. One is all desserts and it's like 2 inches thick. I swear it's almost as big as my Encarta Dictionary or my mother's family Bible. I haven't read much of it yet. I'm kind of looking forward to making some new recipes, but I'm lazy, and we're low on funds this week for stocking up on non-essentials. Desserts used to make me nervous, but i don't worry about them too much anymore. Considering that I eat candy every day, that should not surprise you.

Tomorrow, I get to go see my Fairy Godmother for a hair cut and an eyebrow wax. I haven't taken any pictures of myself since before Christmas... way before, like early December, and fat though I may be, it does not dampen my narcisism. I really need to get my act together and snap some pics. I got new hats for Christmas, and i know folks want to see them. I just haven't had the energy for it, ya dig?

Also, I've been in hiding.

Well, and ok. I'll be honest with you. This is terrible. I hate to even admit to it, but.. if I style my hair and put make-up on, my husband thinks he has permission to touch me (except on Sundays), and I've just really not felt like being friendly lately. Good grief, I can already hear you lecturing me. Save it ok. Let somebody else be the coach on finding your inner red hot mama and keeping your marriage healthy and lively in the bedroom. (I have that book if you want to read it.) I just want to look cute in my new shoes so that when I wear them down the grocery store runway, the other worn out women don't sneak pictures to post on their Facebook with snarky comments about trying to squeeze too much sausage into the casing. Are we talking sex again?

Cooter.

Good night.

1 comment:

  1. I just gotta tell you this blog was hilarious!!! Loving it Bubblez!!! :-P

    ReplyDelete