Chicken Fried Vogue

For 15 years and most of her adult life, Bubblez lived in the suburbs of a major metropolitan city. She enjoyed taking her children to museums, parks, and dates at Starbucks. Then Bubblez moved to the country and her En Vogue attitude got chicken fried. Her yard is a park where the neighbor's rooster won't stop crowing, Starbucks is almost an hour away, and her large collection of fancy shoes is worthless. But, living in the acres of green has presented more opportunities for living "green" as Bubblez travels the path toward self-sufficiency (and bitches ((and prays)) along the way).

Sunday, January 9, 2011

One, Two, Skip A Few

Didn't take me long to fall out of the loop, did it? Never fear, my darlings, I have returned with news from the Fat (Back)Side.

Thursday started out well enough, I guess. I was still feeling a bit overwhelmed and stressed. I ate yogurt and oatmeal for breakfast, and snacked on a clementine later. That was good. Lunch was bean soup with cheese and crackers: not quite as good as breakfast, health-wise, but not bad, either. And then... *sigh*. And then, i made caramel corn, the amazing, kick-ass kind of caramel corn that uses Puff Corn which is more like a potato chip than anything even resembling it's low-cal look alike. I made caramel Puff Corn, and it was good. It was so good, I could not seem to stop eating it. I don't really even know how much I ate. Maybe it wasn't all that bad, but it certainly wasn't all that good, either, from a nutritional perspective. You know what I've got to say to that? Oh well.

I tried to redeem myself at supper. I ate half a bratwurst, a small piece of cheese with 2 crackers, and some carrot sticks in Ranch. But it was of little use. Hubby had to work late. He called, but the voicemail didn't come through, and the later it got, the more pissed off I was. I wanted a buzz. Period.

I drank a shot of Crown, smoked a little weed, ate some more caramel corn and a Dove chocolate, and some more cheese and crackers. Yeah.

The next morning, I wanted to start fresh and climb back on that weight-loss wagon. I ate some yogurt and an English muffin with butter and a cheese slice. Meh. I had one of those pre-packaged frozen chicken cordon bleu thingies for lunch. I had a salad with lettuce, carrots, an egg, a few Dorito crumbs and some Jalepeno Ranch dressing for dinner. Not a bad day, really, until I ate some more caramel corn, another piece of chocolate, and drank 2 shots of Crown. My Monday weigh-in is starting to frighten me, now.

By today, Saturday (btw, I haven't skipped my 8 minutes at all), I didn't sleep well, only about 4 hours. I woke up and was STARVING. I snuck to the kitchen and made some coffee, and tried to put off eating for a while longer, even though the book says to eat within the hour, because I knew that if i ate an early breakfast, my whole day would be off, and somewhere in there, I'd want a fourth meal. I got so hungry, I snuck one of those mini Reese Cups out of the kids' candy jar to go with my coffee (and let my body know that food would be coming eventually?). When "eventually" arrived i was famished and ready to eat the first thing i saw. The first thing I saw was a hamburger.

That's right. I opened the fridge, and there in a nice little baggie, was a leftover hamburger staring at me and looking positively scrumptious. Know what I did? I popped that bitch in the microwave with a little bleu cheese and ate it on a bun. Mmmm... burgers for breakfast! Honestly, it wasn't a bad thing to do at all. By the time lunch rolled around, my darling friend, Charlene, had helped me attach part of my weight loss goal to my newest must have pair of shoes, and I was feeling motivated and inspired! New shoes, you will be mine!

I ate yogurt, and then about 3 of the kids' leftover fish sticks, and a clementine, and then another clementine because they sure are small and it all fits inside of my book's allotment. As, i am typing this up, I am noticing the total swing into "eat as little as possible" mode. Darn it. That's not healthy, either. This is a little harder than I remembered, but then, that's the point in writing it all down, yes? I want to notice these things.

After a while, I ate 2 chocolate covered cherries, which I considered a snack. They were 140 calories vs the 100 I was supposed to have. *shrug* Can't change it now. For dinner, I had lettuce salad with one egg, a few Dorito crumbs, and the jalepeno Ranch dressing, again. Delish, I'm tellin ya. No, really, it's tasty fo sho. The rest of the family was eating pizza bread, so i had a small piece of that too. It smelled SO good.

The whole thing got topped off with a fresh warm brownie for dessert.

Now, here's what i'll tell ya. I most definately could have been more strict with myself this week, but that's just not how i roll. There has to be some room for a bad day or a late night drug induced attack of the munchies. The key is to not let it get out of control. One more day to finish off my week; let's see how I do.

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